May 2011
11 posts
I'm sad
And it’s not even a normal sad either. It makes me want to stay home forever and die kind of sad. Everything seems to bring me down lower and I can’t really see myself getting better anymore. I think I’m seriously ill as of this point. My life is unraveling and I’ve come to realize that behind all the bullshit friends and meaningless minutes, it’s nothing. It’s...
SPEAK HONEY. TALK. SAY SOMETHING.
DON’T JUST GLARE AT ME AND HATE ME INSIDE. YOU HAVE A VOICE YOU DUMB LITTLE IDIOT. USE IT.
Only this time, I can't smile and play along....
I feel so ugly and unwanted..
C
I can’t really explain why I get so annoyed sometimes. I really think that there are times when I want to shake you and make you realize how stupid you’re being. In fact, I hate almost everything you say. It’s either self deprecating, hypocritical, or doubtful. What a drag. I can’t really laugh anymore. But yet, I still love you to the fullest and I really wish the best for...
I’m going to miss Swan Lake. But truth be told, the atmosphere to the senior grade has changed a lot. Good or bad, I don’t know. But it has been, very much so, a great journey! I might’ve cried more during QT because I didn’t believe in the words I was praying or because I really wanted to feel sincere and grateful. I said things like, “thank you for this amazing...
Matthew Kim says
http://www.spirituallyled.com/2010/07/is-church-too-dignified-for-the-presence-of-god/
sounds a heck of a lot like the church i see on a weekly basis.
Then don’t come anymore.
I want to be thin. Like stick skinny :(
Wednesday Morning
It’s Wednesday Morning and I don’t wanna go to schoooool!
Sighh.
You should know your place by now
Go awayyyy. Geez. GO AWAY. OH MY GOSH. Who said you even belong here? Weren’t you the one who wanted to leave in the first place?
April 2011
12 posts
Always.
She’s never stopped loving you. I see her when I mention your name. It’s not a cringe. It’s more of a dreamy, nostalgic stare. She subtly mentions and asks about you. Wonders how you are and what’s going on in your life. She can’t seem to love anyone else as she’s loved you. Every nice gesture, every act of courtship, you’ve used already. Everything...
Purging. Heaving. Acid. Cringing.
When I see some girls. I just want to throw all the shit in me out. I want to like throw up until there’s nothing left in me. I feel so self conscious when I walk. I feel so sick to my stomach when I see my own reflection. My thighs are touching each other. My arms are flailing all over the place. Shit I need to feel clean. Empty. Dry. Do whatever you want to my health now. I don’t...
Disappointed
I’m tired of trying to cater to you all the time. When I’m down, what do you ever do for me? I know it’s not good for me to expect something from a friendship but.. it feels so one sided. Is that selfish of me? Most of the time, all I look for is a friend to make me smile. Not someone to wallow in sorrow with me. Or even someone to drag me down with them. And yet, you pull these...
Today was a bad day
I dream about it. I think about it. I write about it. I talk about it.
March 2011
17 posts
Two things
Stop saying that it’s okay if we all didn’t get into Harvard and the top Ivies. I don’t think you have the right to say that if you got into Brown. Jusaying.
Enough with the lovey dovey mushy stuff. All of it just makes our expectations for guys even higher.
Wide Awake
I hope I don’t sleep tonight. I really have so many things to take care of and so many things that I want to do! It’s not even school work though. It’s mostly stupid stuff. Like I just painted my nails. And I need to pack for tomorrow. And I need to write my credo for English tomorrow. And I want to look up dresses. And I want to look up how to make homemade Samoas. But I also...
A
You’re breaking my heart. Please A, you have trust me. Please stop talking like that. It’s not hopeless and I pray to God that He’ll show you how faithful He is. How you’ll need nothing else besides His love in your whole lifetime! What’s these girls to you anyways? You think that they could fill up the void that you’ve been feeling these past few years? I want...
Absoutely
Jesus, you have my completely.
Deep. Breathes. Daphne. One. Two. Three. You’re forgetting to pray this week. You’re falling already. Don’t get comfortable. Remember how much He’s taught you in the past month. Pray and don’t forget to stay faithful. How can you be praising the Lord when you don’t even pay attention to Him during the week?
I’m so weary and...
Did you learn nothing at all from us?
Recently...
God has never been better in my life. So much has happened that I can’t even begin to explain all that I’m learning from it. To be honest, I’m in a dark place in my life right now and things aren’t really turning out the way I’d hope for them to. People are fading away and I’m seeing the real sides of many of my once close friends. As they all leave and fail me,...
Congratulations!
Haha I’m so happy for you. How lucky of a guy you are! She loves you so much and she really does see how great of a person you are. She’s right. You’re loving and compassionate. You know how to pick someone up and you really know how to make a girl feel loved. I’m so sorry for the trouble I’ve put you through. How blind can I get right?! I hope you know now that there...
It’s on nights like this when I don’t know what to do with myself. Yes, I just want to be a room and just forget everything. Why bother, you know?
Smoke and breathe in something of the past right? Ha.. You know me, always playing the depressed girl every time a relationship ends. That no matter how much I want to forget at the moment, things won’t pass. I couldn’t pray...
In awe of the One who gave it all.
Maybe it’s just me but we’re falling apart. What happened to the four of us? Was it just me or were we super close just only a year ago? Did I change? Or was it any one of you? I can’t even remember the last time we had a good laugh together, just the four of us. When I think of you, my mind is clouded with bitter feelings and unhappy memories. We’re letting this sisterhood...
K and A really have got it right. They know how to put God first and even though it’s been recent for them, I can see that K really has done a good job in setting her priorities right. They don’t talk as often and instill rules and stuff in their relationship. I assumed that physical contact wasn’t even an issue. They want to be together for each other’s company....
All that distance and all that time apart would...
